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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26618323">It’s My Party, And I’ll Text If I Want To</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drarrelie/pseuds/Drarrelie'>Drarrelie</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drarrymadhatter/pseuds/Drarrymadhatter'>Drarrymadhatter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awkward Flirting, Birthday Party, Drunk Harry Potter, Drunk Texting, Drunken Flirting, Flirting, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, M/M, Movie Reference, Sarcastic Draco Malfoy, Secret Crush, Texting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:42:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,326</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26618323</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drarrelie/pseuds/Drarrelie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drarrymadhatter/pseuds/Drarrymadhatter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is bored. And drunk. Draco is tired and not in the mood for some random bloke drunk-texting him on his quiet Saturday evening.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>236</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It’s My Party, And I’ll Text If I Want To</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janieohio/gifts">Janieohio</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy birthday, darling! 💚💙</p><p>Since you’ve refrained from telling us your birthdate beforehand, this one’s just an impromptu little thingiebob bit we concocted for you today. We had plenty of fun writing it, just hoping it’ll manage to put a silly smile on your face. We love you x</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>
  <em>Sat 31 July 11:23 pm </em>
</p><hr/><p>Received: Hellooooooo</p><p>Sent: Who is this?</p><p>Received: Have a guess?</p><p>Sent: Pansy? Is this you trying to be funny?</p><p>Received: Nope, not Pansy. She's here, tho</p><p>Sent: You're definitely not Pansy. She can at least spell 'though'.</p><p>Sent: Who are you?</p><p>Received: Someone who neeeeeeds youuuuu</p><p>Sent: You're someone who's getting on my last nerve. Go bother someone else. Good night.</p><p>Received: Okay, sourpuss, I'll give you a hint. Rawrrrrr 🦁</p><p>Sent: Rawrrrr? What in the name of Merlin is Rawrrr?</p><p>Sent: It's not even a word!</p><p>Received: You know, like a lion... Rawrrrrrr 🦁</p><p>Sent: That would be 'roar'. Now, kindly fuck off.</p><p>Received: Oh, you're no fun</p><p>Sent: Surely you have someone else you can go bother?</p><p>Sent: Friends you can talk to?</p><p>Sent: Family?</p><p>Sent: Poisonous reptiles?</p><p>Received: I was hoping you'd be my poisonous reptile… 😉</p><p>Sent: Are you American?</p><p>Received: Nope.</p><p>Sent: It's the only explanation I can come up with for your mangling of the English language.</p><p>Received: Oh, come off it, Malfoy. Live a little!</p><p>Sent: Ok, you clearly know who I am. Well done. Now fuck right off. I have better things to do than have people harass me in the middle of a perfectly enjoyable book.</p><p>Received: Are you scared?</p><p>Sent: Scared? You wish, Mr I Can't Spell</p><p>Received: So, prove it. Ditch that boring book and get your pretty arse over here.</p><p>Sent: Seriously, who is this? Blaise? You're not funny you know.</p><p>Received: Zabini? When the hell did he become a lion?</p><p>Received: Nope, I'm your favourite Gryffindor 🦁</p><p>Sent: Oh Salazar! Not a Gryffindor. How did you get my number?</p><p>Received: Got it from Parkinson. She says hi btw</p><p>Received: Wants me to tell you "don't be such a boring ponce and get over here posthaste"</p><p>Sent: Okay, first tell Pansy she's dead to me. Second, I have no favourite Gryffindors. I hate them all equally.</p><p>Received: Awww, but that's not true. I think you like me... deep deep deep deep down...</p><p>Sent: Yes, I'm sure you do. Regardless, go piss off someone else. Or at least, tell me who you are</p><p>Received: Seriously? And here I thought you were clever...</p><p>Received: We've been dancing around each other for a decade and then you just act like you don't know me…</p><p>Received: I'm hurt...</p><p>Sent: Oh, fuck right off. Potter?</p><p>Received: Bingo. Wanna dance?</p><p>Sent: Why? You don't have any rhythm!</p><p>Received: I bet you’ve got plenty. Wanna lend me some?</p><p>Sent: You’d only ruin it.</p><p>Received: Awww, you’re just scared. I don't bite, you know... unless it's called for 😉</p><p>Sent: Fuck, Potter. You must be pissed.</p><p>Received: Just a tad. It's my b-day, after all</p><p>Sent: What, pray tell, is a b-day?</p><p>Received: A birthday, you twat. Seriously, where did your imagination go?</p><p>Received: D'you know what I want for my birthday?</p><p>Sent: No, Potter. I don't know what you want for your birthday. It may come as a shock, but I really don't care. And you’re ruining Mr Darcy's proposal!</p><p>Received: In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed.</p><p>Sent: You must allow me to tell you how ardently I despise and abhor you.</p><p>Received: That’s not the line.</p><p>Sent: How would you know? It’s not generally something that’s printed on the back of a cereal box!</p><p>Received: Haha, your hilarious, Malfoy.</p><p>Sent: YOU’RE. For fuck’s sake, Potter. Not Your. You’re!</p><p>Received: Whatever…</p><p>Received: You never guessed what I want for my birthday. You don’t care! Whyyyy don’t you care?</p><p>Sent: Fine. Go on, then. What do you want for your birthday? A clue?</p><p>Received: You</p><p>Sent: Me? Me what?</p><p>Received: That's what I want for my b-day...</p><p>Sent: You want me? For what?</p><p>Received: You know...</p><p>Sent: I do indeed know many things, Potter. Just spell it out already.</p><p>Received: Dancing… 🕺</p><p>Received: Drinking… 🍷</p><p>Sent: I believe I've already responded to the dancing query.</p><p>Sent: And I think you've done enough drinking for the two of us...</p><p>Received: Then why don't you come over here and save me from all these drinks these people I once called my friends keep buying me?</p><p>Sent: You do realise that just because the drinks are in front of you, you don't have to drink them?</p><p>Sent: You have the power to say no, Potter.</p><p>Sent: Two-letter word. Very useful.</p><p>Sent: Give it a go.</p><p>Received: Well, you certainly seem to be the master of that... Wanna teach me how to do it? 😉</p><p>Sent: Are you aware you just called me 'the master'?</p><p>Received: And I can teach you how to say yessssssss 😉</p><p>Sent: Good grief. Perhaps I should come get you.</p><p>Received: You should...</p><p>Sent: Who knows what nonsense you might get up to.</p><p>Received: Who knows? 😏</p><p>Sent: It's for the greater good, after all…</p><p>Received: It is. The greater good is gonna be soooo gooooooood</p><p>Sent: For the love of Circe! What bar are you in?</p><p>Sent: Potter? Where are you?</p><p>Sent: If you tell me I'll come and get you.</p><p>Received: By the bar...</p><p>Sent: What bar?</p><p>Sent: You need to be more specific, Potter.</p><p>Received: Er, I have no idea...</p><p>Received: Wait</p><p>Sent: You know, for someone who wants me to come and dance around their drunken body, you're not making it very easy to find you...</p><p>Received: Oh, yessss. Please do cum and dance around my drunken body...</p><p>Sent: Well, I need to find you first, you dolt!</p><p>Received: Parkinson says you know where it is...</p><p>Received: With the green ceiling...</p><p>Sent: The Dungeons?</p><p>Received: YES! That’s it!</p><p>Sent: Ok, stay. Don't move. I'm just Apparating over now.</p><p>Received: I'll be here... waiting for you...</p><p>Sent: I'm just thinking of all the ways you're going to owe me for this.</p><p>Received: I'm just thinking of all the ways I can make it worth your while 😉</p><p>Received: Hellooooooo? </p><p>Received: Are you on your way yet?</p><p>Received: My precioussss, where are you?</p><p>Received: Me wants it. Me needs it. Must have the precioussssssssssssss</p><p>Sent: All right, I’m here. As is London’s entire population, it looks like…</p><p>Sent: Where the fuck are you?</p><p>Received: Look to the left. By the bar.</p><p>Sent: Left? You mean right, right?</p><p>Received: Whatever. Left, right, potato, tomato.</p><p>Sent: What in Merlin’s name are you wearing?</p><p>Received: You don’t like it?</p><p>Sent: You suck, Potter.</p><p>Received: I suck, or the outfit sucks?</p><p>Sent: It’s a toss-up.</p><p>Received: Oh, sod off. I’ll show you how to suck…</p><p>Sent: Salazar, help me.</p><p>Received: Pansy says these jeans make my arse look spectacular…</p><p>Sent: Can’t see anything but that atrocious shirt.</p><p>Received: Want me to take it off?</p><p>Received: Or do you want to do it for me? 😉</p><p>Sent: Behave, Potter! You’re in public!</p><p>Received: Alright, suit yourself...</p><p>Sent: No, please, don’t…</p><p>Sent: Potter! Fucking stop. If you touch another button on that shirt, I swear…</p><p>Received: Then don’t stand over there and ogle me like a creepy lurker. Come over here and do it for me, Malfoy.</p><p>Sent: No, not here… </p><p>Received. Where then?</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Sun 1 Aug 11.32 am </em>
</p><hr/><p>Received: Sorry again. I didn’t mean to pass out like that.</p><p>Sent: I’d rather you passed out where you did instead of in some alleyway.</p><p>Received: Awww, how sweet of you. I never thought you had it in you tbh 😉</p><p>Received: Anyway. Thank you for taking care of me.</p><p>Sent: You've already thanked me, you know. And quite enthusiastically, too. If that’s how you usually do it, you're quite welcome to thank me anytime.</p><p>Received: How about tonight?</p><p>Received: Dinner. My treat.</p><p>Sent: And what would you serve for dessert?</p><p>Received: Whatever strikes your fancy </p><p>Sent: What if I’d rather you were on the menu? Your arse did look especially delicious in those jeans.</p><p>Received: I can work with that.😉</p><p>Sent: It’s a date, Potter.</p><p>Received: Maybe you should call me Harry ...Draco.</p><p>Sent: Only if you stop with the emojis.</p><p>Received: 🦁💖🐍😘😉</p>
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